Heavy Sigh

I am always curious why a certain song enters my head out of nowhere and floats around til I discover my thoughts singing it. This morning I poured my coffee to "Tumbalalaika," a song that certainly descended from nowhere in my daily life. Knowing that I have not heard this song for decades, I ask myself, where is it coming from?

I know where.

It is a visit from my mother. My mother died three years ago after a short battle with lung cancer. I miss her so much but I seem to have ways to keep her (and my father) actively in my life through "visits." She sang "Tumbalalaika" and I have to admit, I was not always happy when she did. She had been an actress in the early days of Israeli theater and would get all theatric when she sang this song. As if she and Theodore Bikel were in a duet. Sometimes, she would sing it like a regular old person and I still didn't like it's repetitiveness. So why this song for this visit from my mom?

I know why.

This coming Monday is her birthday--and mine too. I was lucky enough to be born on my mom's birthday and it was always a fun and good thing. She found delight in so many things-- this was one of them. In fact, on our last shared birthday she realized that I was 47 and she was 74--perfect inverse of our ages. I miss the way she found delight and wonder in this tough world.

So, here is the translation of the chorus of "Tumbalalaika"

Tumbala, tumbala, tumbalalaika, Tumbala, tumbala, tumbalalaika

tumbalalaika, play Balalaika, tumbalalaika - let us be merry.

Oh yeah, it is a visit from mom. Happy Birthday.

Thrill

You gotta get your thrills where you can and here is one worth sharing. I was recently in Tucson for work and among the discoveries of southwestern eye candy was something I could bring home that slightly changes my daily life.

Make no mistake about it --what I am about to share is wildly less significant than the amazing saguaro cacti endlessly stuck into the mountains like toothpicks, or an ancient mission in the southern part of town or even the delicious fry bread I finally tasted after reading about it in Sherman Alexie's books.

Nope, this is way simpler and simply luxurious: I discovered the pleasure of a glass of water with lemon AND a slice of cucumber. Ahhhh. It may harken back to my Israeli roots -- cucumber must be the national vegetable there. Or maybe it bumps up the now ubiquitous lemon in water thing. Whatever it is -- it works for me and I am now shlepping cucumber and loving it.

Here's the thing. Use Kirby cukes and if they are organic you can keep the skin on. If not, peel them. Use 1 slice cucumber and one slice lemon. There is no need to squeeze or kvetch either. The essence will drip forth and please you.

Sun, Moon and H2O

Here are three things that are life-changing: a bit of sunlight, good sleep and water. Pretty basic, yes? For many people, incorporating these things into their lives is so difficult.

Sunlight -- I believe that when you turn your face toward the sun for just a few minutes you are actively receiving the purest and most natural form of energy available. And, if you meditate near a sunny window or take a walk outside, you feel bathed in warm energy. You feel recharged.

Sleep -- Oy. This is huge. We are an insanely sleep-deprived culture. Are those late night activities really that important? Really, really? Is success determine by ticking things off lists? Is tonight's news any different than last night's? What will provide us with the the feeling of accomplishment we so crave? Is it falling into a heap on the bed, strung out and anxious about how to exhaustedly face tomorrow? I maintain that none of this has to be. I actually believe that when you respect time and your body and sleep, time opens up in different ways to you.

Even now (if this is late at night --and only you know) turn this off and go to sleep. We can meet up later...

Water - If we aren't exhausted we are certainly dehydrated. Drink up, get those cells poofy and happy. Don't wait to feel thirsty -- you are already on the road to dehydration when you are thirsty. In his book, The Success Principles, Jack Canfield says that "even a little dehydration can decrease your mental acuity by 30%." Recharge.

We'll come back to these basic requirements -- especially sleep -- from time to time. Can you imagine how you might feel if you actively recharged yourself over the course of 24 hours?

Celebrate Your Divorce

I have been married twice and divorced once. My first marriage was to my high school sweetheart. On a good day I say that we forgot to break up. On a bad day I call him an a*s&s*h^o%l#e.

Divorce has so many dimensions -- many of them falsely and tragically accentuated during the holidaze, especially despair and loneliness. For many folks, divorce is a relief, a breather, freedom, renewal, a second chance, a time to see what you want and who you are.

This article, 10 Ways to Celebrate Your Divorce first appeared on MSN.com and has since been syndicated galore. I am happy to say that numbers 4 and 7 on the list are mine. I am including the article today as the holiday season officially begins. I am not making light of the intensity of divorce. (My parents split when I was young and I am still not over it.) Just know that for many, the coming new year signifies a new beginning, a new chance to get the love-thing right.

It can be done.

Traveler's Prayer

This prayer by Rabbi Shelia Peltz Weinberg is apt for Thanksgiving. It includes trains, planes and automibiles and also acknowledges the wonder of our lives. It can be found in the Kol Haneshamah prayerbook series, published by the Reconstructionist Press.

A prayer for the journey
We could say it every day
When we first leave the soft warmth of our beds
And don't know for sure if we will return at night
When we get in the trains, planes & automobiles
And put our lives in the hands of many strangers.
Or when we leave our homes for a day, a week, a month or more--
Will we return to a peaceful home? Untouched by fire, flood or crime?
How will our travels change us?
What gives us the courage to go through that door?

A prayer for the journey.
For the journey we take in this fragile vessel of flesh.
A finite number of years and we will reach
The unknown, where it all began.
Every life, every day, every hour is a journey.
In the travel is the discovery,
the wisdom, the joy.
Every life, every day, every hour is a journey.
In the travel is the reward,
the peace, the blessing.

Amen Amen

Where Did The Time Go?

For a few short years, my family had a sweet tradition. My dad and step-mom would meet us in NY to celebrate Thanksgiving with my very old grandmother. We would scoop the kids up right after their pre-school Thanksgiving feasts and get ourselves to the city. We'd eat, see the Big Apple Circus, go to the movies and do little-kid and old great-gramma things together. I am specifically remembering the year of the stuffed Teletubbies. I think we had Tinky-Winky and Lala, maybe it was Po.

Not so slowly, like the last frame of each America's Next Top Model weekly show, my beloveds died and faded from the picture. First great-gramma Rose, then my dad. Visits to NY ceased and Teletubbies had been donated away.

Now my Thanksgiving is with dear friends-rotating to one another's homes each year. There will be great food, generous drink, good laughter and lots of love.

I keep my dad and my grandmother with me throughout the year. (My mom too, but that is another story.) For some reason, today, the day before Thanksgiving, I am recalling the hectic scooping up of the children from school, excitedly sharing details of their Thanksgiving feasts, trying not to ruin their artistic creations in crazy travel and packing their costumes carefully for the family celebration.

I love today and I am grateful to be celebrating the holiday with friends and my little family. But really, I do want to know -- where did the time go?

My Party

My blog is my party and I get to shine the light on anyone I want. Here is a list of awesome people doing way cool things in the world.

Me as a lifecoach. Coaching is done on the phone and all first sessions are complimentary so check it out:
http://www.coachingpartnerships.com/

Mike Weilbacher is a dynamic environmental educator, lecturer, naturalist and science guy. He is available for lectures, workshops -- even children's theater about the environment
http://www.mikeweilbacher.com/

Juliet Spitzer has a voice like a dream. Enjoy her solo cd's or her work with MIRAJ-the Jewish Roches
http://www.julietspitzer.com/
http://www.mirajtrio.com/
cdbaby.com/cd/miraj3

If you live in the Philadelphia area you may want to commision a mosaic from these folks.
http://www.breakingtilemosaics.com/

Betsy Teutsch is a gifted artist and a newly committed blogger on topics related to money, responsible investing, philanthropy and even frugality. She is also a candidate for the Co-op America Board.
http://moneychangesthings.blogspot.com/

Rabbi Nancy Fuchs-Kreimer is an amazing teacher and perfect public speaker. She is passionate about multi-faith issues and does the good work in the world.
http://www.leadershipforamultifaithworld.blogspot.com/

Only That Day Dawns To Which We Are Awake

Henry David Thoreau got it right. I am a naturally early riser and recently I seem to have shifted into mindfully experiencing much of my day. What is one benefit of knowing my rythym and attending to my life? I am having more fun. Not the wild-ass fun of my youth, but quiet joy in seeing where the sock turns up or easily switching my train of thought to listen to my kid whine exhaustedly about her day. I am more productive too.

As a life coach, I work with people on time management. I don't want folks to try and do more and fit more in. I want people to do less and sleep more. Rejuvenate and figure out your natural rythym.

All days dawn. In fact they may come and go in predictable ways. The quality of your entire life is determined by how you live each day. Life changes when you really "get" it in your gut.